“Trey, I like to drink,” she said peering into my eyes.
“Ok,” I smiled.
“No, really, I do. I like to drink. It’s fun.” She continued. “But I have never smoked. Never wanted to. But tonight, I might do the pot.”
I was wearing pink pants. She had a neon shirt and a huge smile. They all smile. I think it is hereditary.
“Ok, well, maybe you will like it?” I guessed having flashbacks to the three times I overdosed on edibles and prayed for the paramedics.
“You know, I might. Why not!” She said enthusiastically.
I was at Ilene’s birthday party talking to her aunt who is 80 years old. She was explaining to me she might try weed for the first time. That family, all wildly interesting and radically happy.
The theme was neon. The time was 8 pm. Eight hours later, at 4:25 am, the evening ended at a dirty Mexican restaurant as a few of us inhaled nachos while Ilene made friends with the two gay guys next to us. She always makes friends with strangers. Always.
Oh, that’s my friend Ilene. I was at her birthday party last Saturday. Today is her real birthday. She is the FROL. Got it? Didn’t think so.
I believe the one thing everyone wants most in life is happiness. We might claim it is love, money, sex, ice cream, or pet raccoons, but happiness is what we think those things will bring.
Meet Ilene. She is happy. Always. Happy.
She is also a complete psychopath.
Let me explain.
She never sleeps, is best friends with all the homeless folks in Piedmont Park, and loves cold calling. She only wears black, had a neon birthday party, and hates driving. Today she turns 50 today, looks 34, and can beat you at anything.
Oh, and she can find anything or anybody anywhere.
“Ilene, do you think you could find a real Witch we could interview?” I asked a few years ago.
A week later we were in a real witch’s basement in Snellville, GA talking to her about being the high priest of a Pagan church, her polygamous marriage, and her four degrees from college.
Together we sat in a tiny church on the side of a mountain in Kentucky while people danced with rattlesnakes and drank poison. We sat at a broken table in a dirty motel while a dying 28-year-old homeless girl with AIDs told us her story. We sipped coffee with a girl who can have 25 orgasms in a row. We sat in the penthouse office of the number one divorce attorney in Atlanta listening to his thoughts on love and marriage.
She found them. All of them.
But her real superpower is the ability to love people. She really is good at loving people. She gives without wanting in return. It’s fascinating. Perhaps a biblical principle or maybe the definition of kindness, love, empathy, or compassion. Not sure. I’ll ask Ilene.
Through my journey to write a book about love, I have decided friendship is the most powerful love in the world. More powerful than erotic love, family love, dog love, or cat love.
It is friendships that make our lives rich.
I am lucky she is my friend. We all are.
To the girl who has edited every single one of my blogs for the past five years. The girl who led every single 30-Day Adventure group with me over the past several years. The girl who shares TikToks with me.
Happy Birthday to the F*CKING RAY OF LIGHT! May all your days be full of joy and happiness, tattoos and tequila, laughter and love, cuss words and crazy people!
Trey
A funny aside: To prove what an amazing friend Ilene has been to me, let me put my day into perspective for a moment.
Today….
I will work at a new job I love she got me because she is a wizard at recruiting. After work, I will get in the car I bought after she destroyed the poor car salesman saving me thousands of dollars and move into a new condo that was out of my budget until she hassled the poor landlord for seven straight days and shaved off $500 a month.
Amazing. I love you!
So, do me a favor and text her something crude today for her birthday: 404-388-2238
Love this love you Ilene 💞💞💞
I fuckin LOVE Ilene! She’s the best. Beautiful post too