Another year. I can’t stop aging. Neither can you.
Since nobody asked, here are my 2024 New Year’s Resolutions:
Win a lottery
Start using nicotine
Get a Brazilian wax
Grow a mullet
Attend the most random church I can find within a 25-mile radius of my home
Entertain the idea of two pet raccoons
Dance on TikTok
Start a new business that encourages people to talk to strangers
Quit eating potatoes for 365 days
Write 52 letters
Now, as you can imagine, setting goals for the new year is daunting. However, if you do drugs and then write your goals, they will be outstanding. I have never done cocaine but I can imagine if I did a handful and then wrote my goals those goals would be next level.
Is cocaine legal yet?
Speaking of cocaine, I almost died yesterday at my therapist’s office. As I sat down on her horrific, faux leather love seat my body started to vibrate. Generally, when my body starts to vibrate I panic. About thirty minutes prior, I decided to take three supplement pills I found in the trash. Now, before you start judging me…
I found an unopened box in the trash by the mailbox a few months ago. So, obviously, I opened it and found a couple of bottles of T supplements. I think they claim to increase your testosterone. Well, they don’t. However, the main ingredient in the supplements is Ashwaganda and the internet says ashwaganda is good for you. So, I took three of them.
Fast forward thirty minutes and I was sitting across from my therapist holding buzzers in each hand thinking I was about to have a heart attack because I overdosed on Ashwayanga. I was trying to figure out how to explain to the therapist I thought I was dying and needed to leave. Then I thought it was good I was with a therapist in case I did go into full seizure.
I have some good news.
I didn’t die in the therapist's office.
On to the inspirational self-help section of this glamourous letter. What am I focused on exploring this year? Well, glad you asked. Here is my obsession this year:
How does someone enjoy life?
This year I am going to ask all the weirdos I can find what the secret to enjoying life is and will report back. In my mind, half the world enjoys life and half the world doesn’t. However, we are all the same and live on the same planet so why do some people enjoy life and some don’t? Genetics? Social group? Supplements? Cocaine? Pet raccoons?
Between us girls, I have always danced the line between enjoying life and being miserable. Maybe that is the human condition. Maybe I am just a weirdo.
So, what is the secret to enjoying life?
Trey