I Need A Drink
Mom fell and fractured her back a few weeks ago so I bought her a fire pit and washing machine yesterday. The new appliances didn’t heal her back as I had hoped. However, the Percocet helps. I might steal a few.
Did you know Amazon doesn’t sell Fentanyl? I checked.
I took her to the hospital yesterday for a consultation. A young nurse asked her a barrage of questions in a third-grade voice. It drove Mom nuts. Mom doesn’t care what the MRI scan shows or osteoporosis or the risks of the surgery or anything the lady said.
“I just want the damn pain to stop,” she barked several times.
I sat across the room watching TikTok videos feeling sorry for the nurse. I wondered if all people are assholes to nurses and doctors. I always tell jokes and try to keep them happy so they don’t “accidentally” leave surgical tools in my body or kill me.
Eventually, the doctor joined us. He was a 12-foot Korean man with a hipster haircut. I liked him immediately and wondered if Mom would tear him apart as well.
As he sat down and began to explain her condition she quickly interrupted…
“Can you do the surgery right now?”
Caught off guard, he slowly replied, “well, no ma’am you will have to schedule the procedure with Josh.”
“Who the hell is Josh?” She fired back.
Eventually, they let us go after Mom gave them both a good bit of hell.
As we walked out of the hospital Mom asked me…
“Do you think I should do the surgery?”
Clearly, she didn’t listen to a single word they said.
“Yes,” I replied.
They scheduled Mom’s surgery for this Friday. I asked if we get a Black Friday discount.
Trey
Hey! Are you joining me in December? Let’s have some fun and get ready to crush 2022. I am launching my virtual group program again and offering 20 spots. I will teach you how to journal, define your values, find your personal and professional purpose, and have fun connecting with others (and reading my award-winning emails every morning). If you have an extra five minutes a day and want your brain to be stimulated for 30 days, reply and I will give you details…otherwise Ilene is going to start cold calling each of you, and trust me, none of you want that!