It’s complicated.
I am sitting in a coffee shop and in complete awe at the weirdos around me. Keep in mind I am a complete weirdo and love weirdos.
A homeless man just came out of the bathroom carrying four massive black trash bags with everything he owns in them. The dude across from me is wearing brown flip-flops with toenails as long as roaches. The girl sitting next to me smells like powder and has a long, pointy nose. The guy talking to her has perfect teeth and bushy eyebrows. They are talking way too close to each other.
The guy sitting behind me has a twitch and is wearing blue jeans and a denim shirt that matches his blue jeans and a scarf tied around his neck that matches the denim shirt that matches the denim blue jeans. His hair is thick, short, and very dirty. He seems to be the happiest person in here.
I am not sure if guys should wear flip-flops when in public. I do, however, know we, as guys, should cut our toenails. What kind of psychopath doesn’t cut his toenails? A dude’s foot is already gross enough and then you highlight it with long toenails? God almighty.
At any rate, I have to speak to a bunch of high school kids tonight about leadership. When I was asked if I would speak, I said yes. What the hell do you tell high school kids? I have no idea.
I have been racking my brain to try and think of an angle tonight. A way to give these young monsters something worthwhile. Do high school kids want advice? Nope.
The only thing I can think of is…
Don’t be like me in high school.
Don’t close your heart. Don’t be scared of other people. Don’t convince your mom to buy you a waterbed.
Don’t cheat on spelling tests because you still won’t be able to spell when you are 50 years old. Don’t run and hide when things get hard because you will always run and hide and sometimes there won’t be hiding places. Don’t be scared to ask her out. Don’t be scared when she says yes.
Don’t be mean to the awkward kid. Don’t let asshole teachers dim your light. Don’t let kick-ass teachers pass by without asking them how to live a good life.
Don’t buy a pet ferret. Don’t get caught cheating on your Spanish final. Don’t be shy.
Then, I am sure, the weasels will ask me ‘What should we do?’.
My only answer…
Try everything.
Try to be kind to the person in front of you when they are being unkind to you. Try mayonnaise on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Try to write a poem and get it published. Try to start a business tonight.
Try to help that kid in your class that breaks your heart. Try to like what you see in the mirror every morning. Try to draw, paint, write, speak, shoot, act, sing, dance, and play tennis. Try chess, guitar, fishing, yoga, karate. Try to fly a kite, get a mohawk, and tye dye a shirt.
Try to find a mentor. Try to develop a personality people like to be around. Try to become obsessed with something and then do it all the time and when people say stop doing it try to give them a kind smile and keep doing it anyway.
Try, as hard as it may be, to learn how to love.
Nah, I think I will tell them to just have fun.
Oh, and cut their toenails.
Trey