I am giving a speech tomorrow about connection in a digital world. On Zoom. They will all likely have their videos off and I will be talking into my small computer staring at black boxes for an hour. Wonderful.
Let’s talk about connection.
As you may or may not know, I have not been married or closed to married. My mom thinks I am a geek and can’t quite figure out where I missed the bus. My social skills are below average and I tend to hide in the corner at non-hide-in-the-corner events.
I keep conversations surface level. Why? I have no idea.
I built walls when I was young and tearing them down is a real bitch.
I just texted that to a friend of mine. I asked her if she is good at connecting. She said no.
I told her I built walls when I was young. Emotional walls to keep assholes out. Like my dad. That idiot was a trainwreck from the get-go. I loved his dumb ass but what a goose. He used to make me go to his AA meetings because he was the leader of the group. I found out later he used to take the money they raised for coffee and cookies and buy booze. Entrepreneurship.
Connecting with others is getting harder. We are growing apart. Apple watches are destroying us. Ever been in a conversation with a friend and they keep looking down at their Apple watch? I hate Apple watches. I don’t even like to eat real apples.
Ok, let’s get down to it…
After reading 24,000 self-help books I have concluded the most important thing in life is meaningful relationships.
Great. Now, how do we do that?
Connection.
Lucky for you I figured out the correct answer exactly 12 minutes ago and would not be surprised if I am nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Meaningful relationships REQUIRE meaningful conversations which REQUIRE vulnerability, presence, and a deep curiosity about the other person.
Ew.
To keep it really simple, how about this?
Show up
Speak up
Open up
Show up at places you don’t want to show up at…speak when you show up at those places…be vulnerable and open up when you speak up at those places.
Do you mean I have to leave my apartment and talk to humans?
I think so.
Here are a few suggestions since I am on a roll here:
Make an actual phone call to a friend and ask them how they are doing
Turn on your video every time you are on Zoom to respect the speakers
Send an email to a different friend every morning telling them something you appreciate about them
Leave your phone in the car when you meet a friend or friends for dinner
Burn your stupid f*cking Apple watch
I am trying to get better at connection.
Oh, and give a speech about connection tomorrow.
Trey