Be Not Afraid
“Hot water,” he mumbled to the gal behind the counter. She was nervous. He stood a few feet away, confident but hesitant.
I wondered what she was going to do. We were the only two dudes in the place. Rightfully so, it was 5:30 am.
One by one they meander in and head straight to the bathroom. They all know the code. They all have backpacks and layers of worn-out clothing. One just sat directly in front of me. There are at least 30 empty tables in here and he chose the one closest to me.
Why doesn’t Starbucks smell like coffee? My mom makes Maxwell House in the morning and the entire house smells. Not Starbucks. Why does my mom drink Maxwell House? It is dirt in a can.
The reason I go to Starbucks is because they open earlier than any other coffee shops. I woke up at 5 am this morning and walked to this Starbucks stopping only to film a quick dance video for TikTok in front of the Hotel Clermont. I set a goal to post a dance video every day for 30 days. It is day 21. Everyone should set goals.
I am sitting here reading Ryan Holiday’s book Courage Is Calling. Ryan argues we will always have fear but we should never be afraid. It reminds me of my homeless friends that migrate into the Starbucks when it opens to escape the cold and try and score free hot water.
The guy sitting in front of me seems defeated. He is talking to himself out loud. He bought oatmeal so he must have some cash. He smells like rotten leaves.
A guy who speaks Spanish just walked in and smells like feet. The defeated guy pulls out a velcro wallet and handed him a $5 bill. The Feet smelling guy was elated and beelined to the counter to order a large coffee. He quickly returned with the change.
I watch the feet smelling guy add nine packs of sugar to his coffee. I counted. I think that is pretty smart. He needs calories and sugar packs are free. So is the side cup of cream he got with his coffee. I bet his coffee soup has 12,000 calories. Enough to get him through the day perhaps.
Do these guys have fear but not afraid? Not afraid to ask for help, money, free hot water, or a hundred packs of sugar?
Courage is a curious thing.
In the book, Ryan argues that the biggest fear we have is being judged by others.
I sit here and judge my homeless friends and they sit there and judge me.
I went on a two-year journey to find a definition of love that resonated with me. Something to help me wrap my mind around what love really is. To put it into perspective and give me a tangible way to practice it. I asked hundreds of people what their definition was and then read a quote by a dude that wears pajamas every day and is always laughing.
“Love is the absence of judgment” - Tenzin Gyatso, The 14th Dalai Lama
I think he is right.
Trey